I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed. - Calvin Trillin
Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry. - Calvin Trillin
Marriage is part of a sort of 50's revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition. - Calvin Trillin
Before I go out to take a picture of someone, I just stop at the city desk and say, 'Do you want him gazing out toward the sunset or picking his nose?' - Calvin Trillin
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin
The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives. - Calvin Trillin
Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place. - Calvin Trillin
In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses. - Calvin Trillin
Because a superior fried-chicken restaurant is often the institutional extension of a single chicken-obsessed woman, I realize that, like a good secondhand bookstore or a bad South American dictatorship, it is not easily passed down intact. - Calvin Trillin
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin